Haircut
by Monetary Value
Summary: Ed's ordered to cut his hair. Unable to do it himself  surprise, surprise , Havoc does it for him instead. What's bound to happen between two men in the bathroom? Click to find out. No yaoi, no slash


Ed never thought being a Lt. Colonel was so much work. First he had to sign all these papers, then he had to band together a unit of his own like Mustang had, and after that he had to break in his new office with paperwork and meetings galore. _At least Al, _Ed thought with a sort of bemusement, _doesn't have to suffer through this too. _Alphonse Elric was in Resembool with Winry and Aunt Pinako. Upon getting his body back, Al had remembered everything, or most of everything, from the past 8 years, however, his body was the same as the day he'd lost it to the Gate.

Of course, it wasn't that Ed had sent Al away, it was just for the summer. Al was actually going to a school in Central to learn about things other than just Alchemy. He was learning about History, Maths, Language, and other sciences that had nothing to do with Alchemy at all. Al was learning to spell and was doing penmanship classes as well as classes with Literature and Mechanics. It was good for him to be learning about other things while hanging around kids his own age, but during the summer he would get away from everything and relax in Resembool.

Ed missed his brother, they lived together for years, even now, and then suddenly his baby bro was gone for three whole months. Ed would currently be in a depression if it wasn't for all this damn paperwork! Ugh…

Luckily, Ed didn't procrastinate, so he was always finished much sooner with his paperwork than Colonel Mustang ever was. Meetings however, with pig-faced bureaucrats, that was one thing that was really hard to get used to. However, the most awful thing that Ed hated was the dress code.

He not only had to wear his uniform, but he had to cut his hair. He had to _cut _his hair. So there Ed was, in the men's bathroom, topless and armed with a deadly pair of scissors as he tried, and failed, to cut his hair. He had gotten a good bit off mind you, but he couldn't reach the back of his head without straining muscles he didn't even know he had.

But he reached anyway and snipped. It wasn't even or straight, nor was it perfect in any sense of the word, but it was short and that's all that was required of him. It just had to be short _and neat _– sadly- so he kept on snipping away, trying to even it out.

"Hey, boss. You done-" Havoc was cut short when he spotted the disaster in the bathroom. Ed had _mauled_ his _head _with _scissors._

"Uh… Chief?" Havoc shuffled his feet, looking at his boss who was staring at him with an empty yet intimidating gaze, "What're you doin'?"

Ed sighed and collapsed against the sink in defeat, "I'm _supposed _to be cutting my hair. General Wilder wouldn't let me in to any of my meetings with long hair, and he ordered me to cut it short." Ed turned back to Havoc with a defeated look, "But I've just never been any good at cutting hair."

Havoc stepped forward, avoiding the blonde strands strewn across the tiled floor, "That's why your hair's always been long?"

Ed nodded, "Pretty much why, yeah." Then Ed stood, brushed off some hairs from his shoulders, and then looked back at his First Lieutenant, "So can I help you, Jean?"

Havoc huffed, "Not looking like that, you can." The man forced Ed to spin around and sit on the floor before Havoc joined the Lt. Colonel on the floor.

"Havoc, what're you-"

"Sshh!" Havoc snapped, "You want me to fix your hair or what?"

Ed numbly handed over the scissors and Havoc set to work on the hair. He evened out the tops parts and then moved slowly to the bottom before moving back upwards again, catching any stragglers he missed first go-around. He then moved onto Ed's sides and cut them clean and straight before going to the, now sorely out of place, banks and cut them off too.

By the time Havoc was done, Ed was in much better looking than before, hair short trimmed to the nape of his neck and short cropped all around. His banks were now more of a small fringe that spiked a bit outwards and up in all directions yet in a perfectly acceptable way. It wasn't at all messy, just more of an Ed-style hair meets Havoc-style hair (think Joe Flannigan). It worked well for the boy, and Havoc was greatly pleased with his masterpiece.

"You're beautiful, sir." Havoc chuckled as he rose to his feet; Ed already there and pulling on his shirt. Ed almost snapped his own head off with the ferocity that he had when he snapped his head around to glare at his 2IC.

"Shut up!" He hissed and he yanked his shirt the rest of the way down.

"Oh come on, Ed. Is that any way to treat the man who cut your hair?" Havoc was grinning again as he chucked the scissors into the nearest sink and side-stepped around the hair as he led the way out of the bathroom. When he turned around to face the, he supposed fuming Ed, he only saw an Ed with a vicious grin that spoke only of danger to Havoc, and in massive volumes.

"You're right, Jean." Ed's grin grew, "That is absolutely no way to treat my trusted and very charitable Second." Havoc only arched a brow. He knew this was only the calm before the storm. "Now I have a very important mission for you, Havoc."

"Really?"

"Yep, it's very dangerous and risky, and I'd only trust it to the best."

"How risky are we talking about?"

"Possible death."

Havoc gave pause, seriousness of the situation settling in. _What was this mission? _"Who did you want to send then?"

"You, duh. I did say, _to the best_, didn't I?"

Havoc smirked a little bit, "Yeah, you did. So what's the mission, boss?"

Havoc wasn't aware of anything going on around him. One moment he was out in the hall on his own two feet, the next he was on his face and back in the bathroom with a mouth full of Ed's cut hair. _Ed had attacked him, the cheeky bugger. _

"You're going to clean up the bathroom until it's _spotless." _Ed walked right out of the bathroom and spun around, one hand on the door, "Have fun~!" He sung happily before following the cheer with a rather long and threatening slam of the bathroom door.

_Well that sucked._

**Please Review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. XD **


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